There i lay as white as snow , for nothing had seemed as pure as the as the ring God gave me. I mean i had done almost everything but let him in , enter me through a force , to force open the gates that God had closed that only the righteous . One who had earned the rights and precious key to unlock those gates and enter me.
He pushed and pulled me lower , wait i thought this was meant to feel good, but it felt like a tug of war where he was constantly telling me to relax while pulling my virginity away , i was letting him but hesitant this felt so wrong yet so right to delight in the evil sin of sex.
You see sin looks good on the outside but tastes sour on the inside would you eat an apple if you knew it had a worm in it but it looked so juicy and appetizing to the appetite yet on the inside you knew . It was poison.
Welcome to sexual sin which has been the factory for abortion yes it's called murder since way back when ? So you have taken a bite of the bitter apple and now you are ashamed so you hide behind it whatever it is that will make you forget . Sex , drugs , rock n roll , speed , weed , birth control will never wipe your sin clean , but will suppress you allowing you to fall even deeper into sin. Into a dark pit which you could never have fathomed yourself falling in.
Once you enter sexual sin it's like the body starts to function on it's accord . You crave it , dream about it , think about it . Your a christian who was once sweet but now bitter because you allowed the nature of sin to creep in like a thief in the night to take what he wants and to do it over and over again. He promised to love you , but where is now ?
He has left you with a worm which is beginning to increase so you fool let one night of pleasure keep you away from Him your saviour who promised to love you , who died for you to prove His love came back again to continue to love you and you chose flesh ?
Yes he has a six pack , eyes as blue as the ocean and the way he touched you sent shivers down your spine you could not resist ? Didn't God say that if you seek His face , His Kingdom and His righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you ? That means that if you has actually lived your life like God commanded in the Word that he will give you more then what you asked for super seeding every expectation you've ever had for your own life.
So instead of living your life according to the Word you were weary that he could give you all exceedingly and abundantly so that you seek the affection of a stranger who from day one disguised himself as a night and shining armor only to wage war with you over your own gold. That your Father in Heaven had gifted you.
So while God had an amazing man who had an amazing soul , who had been praying for you , who God set you aside for you because he knew that looks were not enough or you. A man with a soul after him would birth a nation of 1 Corinthians 13 : 4-7 he knew the kind of love you need he knew that looks were not ever a deciding factor because they would ultimately fade away like the promise that other guy what's his name made.
So now you roam the earth never letting any man in , you see you wonder why you are so alone , so needy to beloved sexual sin has turned you into an addict has made you dirty that only the cleansing of the spirit can make you clean yet again. So while you sit there unattainably thinking of reasons why you continue to sin not in the physical but in the mind , you constantly crave the drug inflicting self-gratification upon your self why don't you just shoot yourself in the foot may feel good but you may need thearpy after.
Don't you get it have you not lost sleep conjuring up ways of how you can still serve the Holy Spirit but delight in evil deceit , child have you not learnt that you need to surrender all to Him all as in everything all that you are bruised and full of shame . You look like a mess , like trash only to be used by those who are really indeed and desperate of a quick fix.
Why have you lowed yourself to a level that even you are disgusted with , you need to see Him take a candle stick and walk into the dark until you find Him , until you can see Him . No one said it was going to be easy , but you knew that eating that apple would had some sort of consequence . So while you search and make your way of coming back into the light there he is yes your Father wit open arms because Lord knows what you have endured . Don't leave the spirit again begin to walk , talk and live with God in it.
For He is the Only way only Truth and only Light.
All other things will lead you astray will lead you to total damnation , while he promised you eternal life why would you chose DEATH ?
By : Vuyolwethu Hole
