Sunday, August 14, 2011


It's weird , so so weird how time flies last year  i was still nursing my break up so i took these Gothic pictures. Made me look all dark and scary , and these days i take happy pictures , so when i look back at those pictures i'm like wow man i was so depro.  I'm much stronger and wiser now and i'm so happy.

Today i realized , i was living my life for a man , a simple , stupid man instead of living mylife for God and achieving all my dreams. So from now on , i'm living my life the way God intended it to be , i want Gods will to work in my life for me. I'm claiming back my power, so that one day i can be the women , a Godly man has been praying for. 

There is a man praying for me , out there so i will wait , as much as the idea of love lingers in the deep rooted pits of my soul , i will wait. I'm not a poet , but i love expressing myself through written word. Here's a short poem about love. Well dark , twisted , addictive love. 
Maybe many will relate. 


Dark room , it's dark the deep rooted thought of the way you chocked me , held me down . The cringe on your face as you look at me in disgust , i can smell the stench  of your spit before it is splatted all over my face , the words 'you disgust me ' begin to ring over and over again in my mind. The way you look at me when we make love , how your eyes connect with mine. The beauty of love is deep rooted in hate. You touch my back with your cold, bare , grimy hands you look at me with pity , and your deep blue eyes look so grey as , you slid your hands up my tights and rip my stockings off , in rage you rip then, look deep into my eyes and utter the words 'i love you' , so deep and so sweet then you climb on top of me , and you make me scream and the rate of my screams makes you go deeper and deeper.Your hands are clenched on my braids , and i can almost hear you breathe and scream 'you like that don't you bitch' , the instant thought of making love is dissolved in my mind as i lay back and let you finish me. I watch the sun as it enters the room the morning after. I can see your eyes sparkle and i'm just mesmorised by your beauty and the smell that lingers the room as you draw closer to me. You place a kiss on my forehead, up and your gone. Is this how love is meant to be ? Physical and romanticed by the imperial media , we are all made to believe that love can only exist in the physical. The physical contact, the screams , the war , the rage , the anger , the force the abuse.

Where's the real Love gone.

When love is not real let it go. Let God know , your looking for something real. Have a blessed day.

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